The first essay I ever wrote was during my first year of college. It was terrible. I didn't know how to write because I never learned how. I was homeschooled throughout my childhood and experienced educational neglect. I didn't have the support I needed to thrive academically. I also experienced significant corporeal punishment as a child. This left me fearful, insecure, and unable to believe in myself. If that wasn't enough, I was a part of a religious community that practiced and preached doomsdayism, strict obedience, and excommunication. 

Yet, here I am as a pastor, writer, and podcast host. How did I get here? 
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I found the strength to persevere in my faith and writing by surrounding myself with people who had walked the path before me. These people were friends, professors, pastors, and therapists. 
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Annie and Scott were two friends who shared contagious self-confidence, humor, and faith in Jesus. In their ways, they both helped me believe in myself and trust that God loves me unconditionally. Fifteen years later, Scott remains one of my best friends, and I've been married to Annie for over a decade. 
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Angela Brown, Marcus Johnson, and Gary Burge were three professors who taught me how to write, do theology, and be a pastor. Angela was my writing professor in college. She sat with me and walked me through the writing process step by step. She demystified writing and showed me that anyone can be a writer. Marcus Johnson was my sophomore and junior-year theology professor. He taught me that Jesus was a person and not just a message. Jesus united himself to me by the Holy Spirit, and everything that is said of him is said of me because of him. Marcus taught me that theology is an act of worship, not an intellectual exercise. Gary Burge was my mentor during Seminary. He taught me to be a pastor, to slow down, be with people, and trust God's Spirit. To this day, he continues to be one of my first calls when I need advice. 

My pastors were Todd Wilson, Gerald Hiestand, Tom Groelsema, Andrew Mead, and Karen Campbell. Todd and Gerald gave me my first opportunity to serve in a church when I was just 21 years old. They model theologically informed leadership and preaching. They taught me that my brain was an asset in ministry. Tom ministered to me in a season filled with grief. He exemplified what pastoral ministry is like in the trenches of suffering. Andrew met with me for two years as I discerned my call into ordained ministry in the Christian Reformed Church. Those meetings were masterclasses in spiritual direction. Under Karen's preaching, I learned that art, music, and poetry are essential tools in the art of preaching.  

Josh and Jenni were my therapists. Josh gave me words to express my suffering and tools to rebuild my sense of self. His willingness to engage my story and help me understand it was a gift I'll never forget. Jenni taught me that I can reintegrate even my most pain-filled memories into my story. She showed me that stories are powerful, so I need to know what stories I'm telling myself. 
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Although God has used countless more people to shape and refine me over the years, I only name the above to give you a sense of how I've overcome so much adversity. I'm grateful to God for life's most painful and joyful seasons, for when I felt neglected and loved. Through it all, I've learned that he has guided me by His Spirit. It may not have been an easy road, but it's the road I've traveled.